Observing A Fragile Ego

Growing up in a single parent home, my childhood was the definition of balanced. There wasn’t anything to want for. What we lacked in abundance, we made up for it whenever my father came to visit for Christmas. Nothing in Child World was off limits when Daddy Claus was in town.

My father was a wise man. Although my mother parted ways to head north when I was age 3, my siblings and I visited him often during the summer. He was affectionately "Daddy" from a distance, and provided unconditional love, support, encouragement, and essential needs for his children without legal intervention. In current times, he and many other stand-up men of his era and prior, would be considered "rare" in the community.

Although he and my mother did not stand the test of time, I don't recall ever hearing my father talk down on her to anyone who would listen. She rarely spoke of him unless we were preparing to visit, and most memorable when I went off to college. Transitioning into the independence of adulthood, I enjoyed quality time with him before flying off to campus where I connected with my paternal uncle and his family. Daddy made sure I was in good hands. He was just that kind of man.

The fondest memories that I hold dear are of his self-sufficient, observant, truth speaking, philosophical nature. Hardworking, self-employed, and old fashion, my father could read people like a devout christian reads the Bible. He would be the first to agree that a zebra can't change its stripes so it uses them to blur the lines between wrong and right.

One lesson that resonates deeply to-date, well after his demise in 1987, was TO OBSERVE PEOPLE, their actions, their mannerisms, their habits, and PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR that rarely deviate from their script of deception no matter the person, profession, or status. Daddy was so wise, he prophesied Latinos would be the majority race in America. He was adamant about his prediction to the extent he attempted to discourage me from studying French in high school. Pssst....Daddy, tu avais raison. I chuckle a bit as I flush out thoughts because I know for sure Daddy would say to 45, "You want a wall? Stand on the other side and I will build one for you and your ilk."

Getting back on track. Daddy rationalized his perspective and explained that sometimes people get so caught-up bullying others who threaten their fragile ego, they fail to realize their FUTILE actions are fueled by insecurities, jealousy, resentment, and or masked self-loathing. He also said that mindset will employ his or her unofficial power to demean and undermine you, without realizing the power you have over their mental stability is the force that drives their precarious behavior. Why? Because a stable person wouldn't conspire to threaten your personal space, affairs, and best interest. In other words, a fragile ego projects its shortcomings onto others to feel the power and control that they lack in reality.

So, when a fragile ego behaves recklessly, understand it's not you. It's them. SMILE BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL STANDING PROUDER, STRONGER, AND MORE BLESSED THAN EVER. Even Daddy would be proud of your inner-resilience pulling you through what couldn't break you.

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